I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize