me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
