I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
