I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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