I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
