She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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