are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
