Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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