I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
