I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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