My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
