I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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