just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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