So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
