when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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