its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
