I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
