i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i will never coherently bang her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
