Fuck appropriateness.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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