the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize