you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
