peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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