Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
