Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
