We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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