you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he was CRYING into my vagina
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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