But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize