and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize