its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Farmville is her only friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
