Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize