ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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