Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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