i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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