I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
