I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
