i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
