Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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