maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
