Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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