You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
