perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
