I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
