All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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