My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Panties = found
Randomize
