Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
