Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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