xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
