I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
