My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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