Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
