grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
