if you like me you must not know who I am
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
