Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The air taste purple.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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