Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
