Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
