so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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