I'm so fucking centered right now
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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