dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
