So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish you could order shots online.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
