I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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