what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
