fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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