just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
