even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
