butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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